The miracle of life

The miracle of life is just mind blowing!! Today I got to meet the newest members of our family two beautiful precious little princess, so perfect in every way. It brought back memories of my own children. It seems so long ago now that they were this little, this sweet and this peaceful.

Anyone who has teenagers will tell you that being a parent can be very very challenging at times, and it is so easy to forget that this self centred, self absorbed, grumpy person was once a tiny bundle of joy.
Today I had a flashback of when my babies were newborns, and it was lovely and sweet and for the teeniest tiniest moment I felt a little clucky.
   
 

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Happy Birthday Sunshine

Today is my baby’s birthday, but he is still on camp with school. I wish that I could hug and kiss him and wish him a very happy 15th Birthday. I wish we could celebrate what was the greatest day of my life. The day that he came into my world and changed it forever. The day I became a mother. But that will have to wait till the weekend when he is home I’m afraid.

My children are the greatest gift I could ever have asked for, and George my eldest, is the light of my life. He is my sunshine. Even now that he is maturing into a grumpy teenager he still is everything to me.

Because of George I have the twins. Because of George and my twins I am stronger than I ever thought I could be, because of my children my life is complete.

I have always known that I wanted to be a mother but just how much you can love another human being well that I never really knew until I had George. The mere thought of anything bad happening to any one of my children grips me with such a paralysing fear. Their triumphs are my triumphs.

They are the first thing on my mind in the morning when I wake up and the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep. Everything I do in life is with them in mind.

I may not always get it right but I will never stop trying. I will always be there for them, always, and my love for them will linger long long after I am gone.

So Happy Birthday my Sunshine I hope you know how loved you are and how special.

Time flies

My babies went back to school today. This year they are in grade 6, their final year at primary school. Looking at them today, all dressed and shiny, excited for another year of learning and fun, I couldn’t help but wonder where has the time has gone.

Grade 6 is a busy year, filled with things such as the grade 6 musical, Grade 6 camp, Grade 6 graduation. Many say that children don’t learn much in grade 6 these days, but I don’t feel this is true. They are learning to be more self reliant, they are given more responsibilities, a chance to step up. Yes the learning style is a little different in grade 6, but that is because the children are being groomed for high school and the challenges they must face there.

First day was a huge success, I am pleased to report. Two happy, smiling children came home full of news to share of all that had transpired. Fingers crossed this will be a great year for them both.

It feels like only yesterday that they were starting primary school and now here we are Grade 6, the big kids of the school. For me though, they will always be my babies. My beautiful little miracles, my gift from God.

Teenagers …..enough said

I know I’ve said before how challenging life with a teenager can be. Even though people warn you about how the teenage years are the hardest I don’t think you can ever really appreciate just how hard, how challenging they can actually be.

My teenage son is a sweet loving boy with a playful cheeky nature most of the time that is, but without warning he can quickly turn into this whole other person, he will rant and rave and say the most horrible things, he will be rude and obnoxious and totally self absorbed.

Me. Me. Me. To hear him going off like that is so heartbreaking. Everything is my fault. I don’t know anything. I expect too much from him. I clearly don’t have a life and on and on it goes, occasionally his father will cop a spray too but most of the time this rage is directed at me.

It makes sense I am the one home with him the most. Plus he knows that no matter what he says or does my feelings towards him will never change. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt, it does. Sometimes I will look at him and wonder what on earth happened to my sweet little boy. Who is this person, I don’t recognise?

Today’s tantrum was about what else school work! That seems to be what we fight about most lately. If its not school work its the Xbox. Fortunately these tantrums or mood swings do not last long, and when I’m least expecting it that sweet little boy that I adore so much will reappear, and within an instant the sun is shining again and all is well in my world again.

Soccer mum

I never cease to be amazed by the overwhelming feelings that motherhood has allowed me to experience. Before I became a mother I had never felt my heart feel so full of love for another human being that it literally felt like it would explode. I never experienced self loathing like the kind I have felt anytime that I have lost control and smacked one of my children.

The fear whenever one of them is hurt or sick is almost paralysing, as is the sorrow that squeezes my heart whenever I see any of them hurt or disappointed. The mere thought of anything bad ever happening to them is so horrifying that I cannot even bear the thought of it.

No one tells you about these feelings, the roller coaster of highs and lows that you will no doubt experience as a parent. Nobody tells you how from the moment you become a parent to the day you close your eyes your thoughts and prayers all your hopes and dreams will revolve around these children.

Tonight I am on a high, my youngest son who has been dying to play soccer for quite a while now finally had his first game in the summer soccer 7s league. For those of you who don’t know much about soccer and don’t feel bad because I am one of you, soccer 7’s is just like normal soccer only on a smaller field and there are only 7 players per side, each half goes for 20 mins and there are no off sides.

Anyway tonight was my sons first game and he was awesome, he was on fire!! Was I proud? You bet!!! To see the light in his eyes knowing that he did a good job, and have his team members, children he doesn’t know, has never played with, most of them older, congratulate him was just the best thing ever.

My Sunshine

So eldest son has gone to spend a few days with Grandmother and Grandfather who live quite far away and as a result don’t get to see the children as much as they and we would like. The other two however did not want to go , not because they would miss mum and dad but more to the point their creature comforts, like foxtel (cable tv), the computer, their X-Box and Wii and all their other toys.

I am very proud of eldest son, it was his choice, he wanted to spend some time with his grandparents, he has always been a lot more mature than the twins and this is just another display of that matureness, although he has only been gone a few hours I have had several texts messages, and a Facebook message so far. Is he missing us? I think maybe he is.

Even though the twins are quite adamant that they will have a much better time without eldest son, I’m sure that deep down they won’t, he is the sunshine of my life and theirs also. The world is a better place because he lights it up with his spunk, his cheeky nature and his heart of gold.

Special Moments

If you have teenagers like me you are probably use to repeating everything a hundred times, only to eventually receive a final grunt in reply. You would also be use to bad mood swings and temper tantrums like the ones he use to throw when he was two. Your life and everyone else’s in the house revolves around the XBox or Playstation or both.

No one is allowed on you tube or on almost anything else that requires Internet, when the XBox or PS3 are in use because that causes lag, which then causes frustration, lots of cursing and more bad mood.

Half the time you feel like you are walking on egg shells. You barely open your mouth and you have already no doubt said the wrong thing. You are constantly told over and over that you don’t know anything, at times you begin to actually believe it.

They say these blessed teenage years won’t last for too long (thank God!!). I have also heard that the teenage years are necessary to help a mother cut the maternal strings and allow her child to grow. Surely there must be an easier way.

But every now and then grumpy teenager seems to vanish and your sweet beautiful loving affectionate child returns. These moments are like precious gifts that I am learning to cherish. They make up for all the grumpy mood swings, the temper tantrums and the grunting. So tonight as I snuggle with my teenager, I give thanks for these special moments.

Thank God for Grandparents

Thank god for grandparents!!! My daughter has been unwell these last few days, fortunately nothing too serious just a cold, or at this stage what looks like a cold. She has a sore throat and a blocked nose and a very slight temperature but it has been enough to make her feel miserable . Things at work are pretty hectic at the moment and staff numbers are down so the thought of having to take a carers day was not so appealing.

Up step my wonderful parents to help me out of my predicament, my daughter spent the day being pampered by her grandparents as she recuperated in my old bed and I was able to go to work safe in the knowledge that she was in great hands.

It got me thinking about all the people who aren’t lucky enough to have their parents or in-laws close by to be able to offer them a hand when they need it. When you have kids there are lots of things that can go wrong needing you to take time off work. The more kids you have the more your chances of needing time off for sickness or injuries, or appointments increase. Therefore the question begs to be asked, are 7 carers days enough? Surely not.

I know that there are many people that wrought the system but there are many more that honestly just need more help be that by more flexible work hours, or more carers leave.
It looks like my son has now caught my daughters cold so I will be calling on my parents help again tomorrow. Until you actually become a parent yourself I don’t think one can fully appreciate just how much their parents do for them.

Fundraisers are bleeding me dry

Is it just me or does there just seem to be a relentless amount of fundraising going on in schools at the moment? So far this term we have had The Entertainment Books, The Second Hand Library Books, The Sausage Sizzle and The Walkathon, and we have also been put on notice for the upcoming Art show , Fathers day stall, and heaven knows what else they will think of.

I know that schools rely on fundraising to help with the purchase of equipment and supplies and I am all in favour of helping out but when you are being bombarded with one thing after the other, and you are forever having to put hand in pocket it does raise the question of just how much is too much?

I believe the argument for having so many fundraisers is that parents can pick and chose which ones they want to support but its not that simple, because the teachers are simultaneously putting pressure on the children to support them all.

Incentives such as house points or special rewards such as hall monitor for the day, or get out of homework week are being offered to children who are first to submit their money. Try explaining to an eleven year old why we are not going to buy The Entertainment book, when most of their friends already have. When you have three children as I do the the cost of these fundraisers in then tripled, pretty soon I will need to get a second job just so I can afford to keep supporting these fundraisers.