
I never cease to be amazed by the overwhelming feelings that motherhood has allowed me to experience. Before I became a mother I had never felt my heart feel so full of love for another human being that it literally felt like it would explode. I never experienced self loathing like the kind I have felt anytime that I have lost control and smacked one of my children.
The fear whenever one of them is hurt or sick is almost paralysing, as is the sorrow that squeezes my heart whenever I see any of them hurt or disappointed. The mere thought of anything bad ever happening to them is so horrifying that I cannot even bear the thought of it.
No one tells you about these feelings, the roller coaster of highs and lows that you will no doubt experience as a parent. Nobody tells you how from the moment you become a parent to the day you close your eyes your thoughts and prayers all your hopes and dreams will revolve around these children.
Tonight I am on a high, my youngest son who has been dying to play soccer for quite a while now finally had his first game in the summer soccer 7s league. For those of you who don’t know much about soccer and don’t feel bad because I am one of you, soccer 7’s is just like normal soccer only on a smaller field and there are only 7 players per side, each half goes for 20 mins and there are no off sides.
Anyway tonight was my sons first game and he was awesome, he was on fire!! Was I proud? You bet!!! To see the light in his eyes knowing that he did a good job, and have his team members, children he doesn’t know, has never played with, most of them older, congratulate him was just the best thing ever.
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