In life one can only truly depend on oneself. It doesn’t matter how much you go out of your way to help others, or for that matter how much others try to be there for you. When all is said and done, in this life we walk alone.
Although somewhat of a sobering realization, it is also very freeing as well. For once you realize this very valuable lesson then you are no longer bound by the shackles that bind you as you sit around waiting for others to do what only you can.
From time to time it is okay to let your guard down. Never fear like a bolt of lightening from above realization will hit snapping you back to reality once more .
For a brief moment you may feel sad, even annoyed but you will quickly realize that this is merely a fact of life, a lesson that you will keep on repeating over and over until it eventually sinks in and you are no longer under any false illusions.
Unfortunately for me this message has yet to sink in so I keep learning the lesson over and over, they say it takes at least 30 or so times for something to become habit, guess I’m not there yet.
I am no expert by any means, only last week I was pulling my hair out and banging my head against the wall in frustration at my teenager. We have only just really hit the tip of the iceberg that is the teenage years. I am acutely aware that we are in for a much bumpier ride down the track, but at this stage and seeing as though today has been a good day and I am able to put my thoughts into perspective, I feel it may be beneficial to share my top 5 tips so far that have somewhat worked with my teenager. I’m putting these down on paper or iPad so that I can be prepared when its my twins turn at the teenage years.
5 tips to surviving the teenage years
1) Stay positive – negativity breeds more negativity if you can manage to stay positive and try to see the positive side of things even if its only the slightest glimmer of positivity it will make an enormous difference.
2) Practice active listening. Active listening is when you are totally focused on what your teenager is telling you and no matter how much you want to butt in and say your bit you must refrain. Sometimes they just want you to listen. Not offer advice. Not make suggestions. Certainly not pass judgment just listen. This may sound simple enough but anyone who has a teenager will tell you that active listening can be near impossible, so much of what they say will push so many of your buttons.
3) Use humour. Nothing will defuse a situation like humour. Even horrible black humour can be an effective tool. Lighten up and try and have some fun with your teenagers, the rewards will be two fold.
4) When in doubt trust your instincts. Our instincts are our most powerful sense, they warn us of pending danger, alert us when something is not quite right. A mothers instincts when it comes to her children is infallible.
5) Alcohol . Surely no parent of teenagers has ever been able to get through these trying years without a glass or two of wine or champagne purely for medicinal reasons of course.