Category Archives: men

My son has a better social life than me!

My son has a better social life than me! This thought is going through my mind as I wait in the cinema foyer for him to come out of the new Spider-Man 2 movie he is watching with his friends. Not that I should really complain my social life is very full.

I use to be the kind of person who would pass up on opportunities to get out and have fun. I had this idealistic notion in my head that if my husband didn’t want to do something or go somewhere that I shouldn’t either.

The only problem is that my husband is a real home body he doesn’t want to do anything or go anywhere. He is truly happiest when he is home out on the deck doing his own thing.

It was very liberating when I finally made the conscious decision to go on with my life without him. Now when ever an opportunity presents I take it. I am doing more, having more fun, and I think my marriage is that much better off because of it.

Nowadays whenever my husband and I do go out it is because we both want to and not just because I am dragging him along someplace he does not want to go. So we inevitably end up having more fun.

There are times I know, that I wish he would want to do more with me, and I know there are times when he wishes I didn’t want to do as much but unfortunately that is life and as long as we maintain a nice balance I think we are both happy.

You shouldn’t have to give up the things you like just to be with someone, they should ultimately love you because of those things, because that is what makes you, you.

How a pregnancy test can save a mans life

I read the most amazing thing on Facebook today, it was a post that someone else had shared, to alert people, especially men to testicular cancer. After reading the post I couldn’t help thinking that perhaps all men should take a pregnancy test from time to time.

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Melbourne is shock after 11 year old murdered

Melbourne is in shock today after the senseless murder of an 11 year old boy by his father after cricket training last night. Although the details have yet to be released what we have so far heard is the the boys father attacked the poor child after his cricket training session in front of his team mates.

He brutally beat his own son with a cricket bat and then stabbed the little boy repeatedly with a knife. Police were unable to subdue the man with capsicum spray. When he finally turned on police they had no choice but to fire their weapons. The man died hours later in hospital. Counselling has been offered to all the children that witnessed this horrific event.

From what I have read the father had been estranged and had a history of family violence, in the last few years he had become homeless. Police believe that this was in fact premeditated.

As a parent I cannot get my head around this horrific event, it makes me sick in the stomach to think that a parent could do this to their own child.

Tonight as I check on my children sound asleep in their beds, I pray that they will always be safe and sound, healthy and happy. I pray too that this innocent boy will rest in peace.

Clueless

Today my husband went in for a gastroscopy it was a relatively painless procedure, and lasted only 10 or so minutes. Ofcourse it took a lot longer for the anaesthetic to wear off. Oddly the last gastroscopy that he had a couple of years ago had shown a hiatus hernia which my mother in law also has, this time the gastroscopy however revealed no hiatus hernia, is it possible for it to just go away?

I’m no doctor so I guess we will have to wait until we see our GP next week and see what he has to say. The post procedure care instructions cautioned against driving a vehicle or operating heavy machinery or signing any legal documents. It makes sense he was a little groggy when he came out and not at all steady on his feet. Hopefully nothing a good nights sleep won’t fix.

Unfortunately my husband is not one to take warnings seriously and even though technically the IPad isn’t heavy machinery, for a computer novice like my husband (and myself I might add) it may just as well be. Somehow he has managed to lock himself out of his Facebook and the games he so loves to play.

So tonight has not been much fun as we cluelessly fumble around trying to rectify the problem, it is a case of the blind leading the blind.

Teenagers …..enough said

I know I’ve said before how challenging life with a teenager can be. Even though people warn you about how the teenage years are the hardest I don’t think you can ever really appreciate just how hard, how challenging they can actually be.

My teenage son is a sweet loving boy with a playful cheeky nature most of the time that is, but without warning he can quickly turn into this whole other person, he will rant and rave and say the most horrible things, he will be rude and obnoxious and totally self absorbed.

Me. Me. Me. To hear him going off like that is so heartbreaking. Everything is my fault. I don’t know anything. I expect too much from him. I clearly don’t have a life and on and on it goes, occasionally his father will cop a spray too but most of the time this rage is directed at me.

It makes sense I am the one home with him the most. Plus he knows that no matter what he says or does my feelings towards him will never change. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt, it does. Sometimes I will look at him and wonder what on earth happened to my sweet little boy. Who is this person, I don’t recognise?

Today’s tantrum was about what else school work! That seems to be what we fight about most lately. If its not school work its the Xbox. Fortunately these tantrums or mood swings do not last long, and when I’m least expecting it that sweet little boy that I adore so much will reappear, and within an instant the sun is shining again and all is well in my world again.

Snoring

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So if hubby’s snoring wasn’t bad enough, Dexter has started snoring now too!! We are not talking deep heavy breathing, no, I mean full blown snores, the kind that up until last night only my husband was capable of producing.

Through the years I’ve learnt to sleep through hubby’s snoring, at times I even find it to be comforting, but Dexters snoring is quite new, and hard to ignore. My poor puppy is getting older he is 7 years old now which is like almost 50 in dog years.

I researched dogs snoring on line and it turns out that there are many reasons why Dexter could be snoring, anything from sinus infection, to hayfever, tumours and even dental problems . It could even, and I hate to admit this, but I think this is the most likely explanation, very simply be that Dexter is just too fat. For a little dog with skinny legs he does have a very round body.

So my plan of attack will have to be that we will ration the treats that Dexter gets, and maybe portion control of his breakfast and dinner might be a good idea as well. Longer walks with Spring finally here that shouldn’t be too hard, the kids will be playing outside a lot more so Dexter will get a work out there, and you know what if all else fails there is always ear muffs.

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Understanding Adolescent Boys!

Last night I attended a presentation for parents and teachers on ‘Understanding Adolescent Boys’ by Dr. Ian Lillico.

Dr Ian Lillico is a father of three sons, a former principal of secondary school (recently retired), and international consultant in gender, boys education and middle schooling. He has done action research in gender throughout Australia and New Zealand from 1992 and in the Northern Hemisphere during his Churchill Fellowship in 2000. Dr Lillico has a PhD (education) and is a National Fellow of the Australian Council of Educational Leaders. He now provides professional development for teachers, parents, students and a host of other organisations throughout Australia and Internationally.

The two hour presentation was both fun and informative. Dr Lillico outlined the changes in society over the last few decades and the impact that this has had on boys. According to the figures boys are staying at home for longer, and delaying marriage, independence and having children till early to mid thirties.

Dr Lillico talked about strategies parents and teachers can use to get boys to talk about their feelings and keep the communication channels open between parents and sons. A good way to get boys to open up to you is to get them moving with you. This can be anything from walking the dog together, going fishing, playing some one on one basketball, even doing things such as changing a flat tyre.

Dr Lillico also expressed how vital it is for boys to receive as much physical contact as they can, hugs, pats on the back, some roughing up are all essential in a boys development. Dr Lillico joked that if you are a parent of a teenage boy and you are covered in bruises then your teenager really loves you.

Another point of interest that Dr Lillico made was how important that reading fiction was to boys, apparently this helps to develop their imagination which will play a huge role later on in life when they are faced with mental challenges they must overcome. Research has shown that boys who have some form of spirituality in their life be it through religion or meditation and those that have read fiction and there by have developed their imagination cope far better in stressful situations.

We also heard that the most critical age in a boys development was 12 years old and not 14 or 15 as once thought, the second most critical phase is 18, 19 & 20 years old. So parents need to be most vigilant around these critical years.

Dr Lillico also talked about boys and schooling and how a good teacher can make all the difference in a boys education. If a boy likes the teacher then he is more likely to apply himself to that subject, if however he does not like the teacher, or senses that the teacher does not like him, then he will not work for that teacher and will in turn do poorly in that subject.

Some handy books to read on the subject of Boys are:

Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph
Boys and their schooling by Dr Ian Lillico
Living with the willy by Mick Fisher

Also you can find lots of helpful information on http://www.boysforward.com

Happy Father’s Day

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Today is Father’s Day in Australia so I want to take this opportunity to pay tribute to my wonderful father, who has always been there for me, even though I know that I have disappointed him on many occasions.

My early memories of my dad are when I was really young and home from school because I was sick with a cold or whatever. Dad would always come home and check on me, and because I was never a good eater when I was younger (pity the same cant be said now) he would always talk to me and coax me to eat. I remember playing badminton with my brother and sister and dad always joining in.

My dad is not an easy man to get on with, but he always seemed to have time for me.

There were many times when I did not like my dad when I was growing up, especially those years when I was a teenager, but I always loved him.

Throughout my life I have disappointed and hurt him on numerous occasions and yet he has always been there for me. He has been a wonderful role model, and continues to support me and my children. I am very lucky to have such a wonderful dad. Happy Father’s Day Dad I love you.

Chivalry may not be dead

Chivalry is not dead today on my way back from a meeting the car in front of me broke down. A young lady got out of her car obviously distressed and gazed under the hood perplexed. Instantly I watched as two men simultaneously stopped their cars and came over to the rescue.

My initial thoughts were how chivalrous and lovely that both men were so willing to aid this poor woman, but this thought was quickly wiped out by a second thought. Would the guys have been so quick to offer assistance if the lady was not so young or so attractive?

I hate that we have become so cynical so distrusting that we can no longer just accept a good deed for what it is and instead question every thing, good or bad. I guess the older I get the more experience that I have with people and life the easier it is to become disillusioned.

The trick here then is to somehow rise above the negativity. The reasons behind why these men stopped will never be known to me, but I am happy they did and I know that girl would have been very grateful for their help as well, so I guess that’s enough.